Fantasy scenarios are a universal experience. A mental aphrodisiac with amazing powers. Sometimes it is a conscious process, sometimes not. But if you are not satisfied with your sex life and you aren’t using fantasy to create and sustain arousal. You are missing something: the fastest and easiest route to getting where you want to be. People always worry: Are my fantasies “normal”? Does fantasizing mean I want to do something? Is there something wrong with me if I can’t come up with a good fantasy?
Unless you have nothing but violent fantasies—and can’t become aroused any other way—your fantasies are “normal,” whatever that means. Fantasizing does not mean that you want to do what you are fantasizing about. Many people, for example, fantasize about homosexual encounters. Without having the real desire to have a homosexual relationship. And some people have difficulty fantasizing because they censor their erotic thoughts.
Recent studies state men and women have fantasies that are alike than they were twenty years ago. when sexual fantasies first came under the cultural microscope. According to Nancy Friday, author of Women on Top. Among other books about sexual fantasies, women’s fantasies have become more graphic and sexual and aggressive. Don’t be afraid or ashamed of those fantasies. Many of us have a “favorite friend” fantasy. That erotic scenario guaranteed to arouse us during masturbation. Or when arousal subsides during lovemaking. The friend will likely be one of the following types.
THE TOP-TEN FANTASY SCENARIOS
1. Making love with someone other than your regular partner—the most common fantasy for both men and women.
2. The forbidden partner—someone from another race or class, a relative, a friend’s spouse.
3. Many partners, typical sex with your lover and another person. (For men this “two women” fantasy is a favorite.)
4. The romantic fantasy—set in idyllic surroundings, such as a beach. (More common for women than men.)
5. Spontaneous stranger encounter—like the “zipless fuck” popularized by author Erica Jong. In the classic novel Fear of Flying, in which strangers meet on a train. For example, and fall upon each other in the nearest sleeping compartment as their clothes melt away.
6. Forced sex—sometimes called “the rape fantasy,” and common to both men and women. (The fantasy signifies a desire to have sex without guilt or responsibility, not to be raped.)
7. “Taboo” sex acts such as having sex in a public place or practicing S/M.
8. Exhibitionist or voyeuristic fantasies. In which one is having sex while being watched or watching someone else have sex. (A common version of this fantasy for men is watching a wife or girlfriend make love to someone else.)
9. Homosexual encounter
10. Sex with a celebrity.