Everyone has a different opinion of what makes good sex. A fairly scientific-sounding explanation of good sex follows:
For most people, good sex has an element of sensual eroticism. It often is initiated to satisfy a lustful desire or sexual tension between two people. As they begin to become aroused and begin having intimate contact, they stimulate each other even more. Then they progress to heavier foreplay, enough so that both people feel turned on and ready for sex. They might both have a mastery of sexual techniques so that the lust they feel can be satisfied through their sex acts and their orgasms.
There may also be some emotional peak, some moments where they feel in love with the sex acts they are performing and in love with the moment, which is sometimes translated to feel in love with the person they are doing it with. Throughout the sex act, the people will feel sexual intensity and freedom. They will be absorbed in the act, not questioning, not anticipating, not worrying, not analyzing…just into having sex. After good sex, the feelings of relaxation, safety, satisfaction, bliss, and love are often present.
The only way you can know if the person you are attracted to will be good in bed is by having sex. However, there are some things you can look for to determine if the person has a positive attitude toward sex and therefore could be a good lover.
Keep your eyes open for someone who:
- is comfortable with his or her body.
- talks about sex openly, but not crudely.
- has a sense of fun and adventure.
- uses birth control and/or condoms properly.
Questions to ask your (What would you consider good sex)
- How often would you like to have sex?
- Do you need to be in love to have sex?
- Do you like to initiate sex, or would you prefer if your partner does, or if you do it at different times?
- Do you want one partner for life or a more casual affair?
- Do you like to have orgasms every time you have sex?
- Do you have any favorite positions for intercourse?
- Do you like to give and receive manual stimulation, oral sex, anal sex?
- Do you like specific kinds of alternative sexual lifestyles or “kinky” sex? If so, what kinds?
- Do you like a lot of variety in your sex life, or do you like to be more routine?
- Do you want to have a baby anytime soon?
Answering these questions should give you a better idea of what you want. Now you and your partner can explore if this relationship will work.